After that last blog....I was almost completely exhausted...took me like 3 days to write it. But I am pretty sure that I covered most everything I wanted to. If I didn't I guess it really wasn't all that important.
Hmm. So, I have found my niche I think, or rather where I belong. I believe. It's where I have been known for years, or, where enough time has been taken to actually figure me out.
I tend to build walls. Because I am so used to and so tired of getting hurt. I suppose that maybe it has hardened my heart to an extent. But again, it has also protected me. I don't wear it on my sleeve anymore.
I am not a childish bitch, I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a daughter, sister and aunt. I love my kids, and I love my husband, and my family. No matter how many fights my parents and I get into, no matter how many fights that I have with my brothers, at some point we all realize that no matter how pissed we get at each other that we are still family, and we can rely on each other.
My kids may not be with me full time, but their dad is barely in their life. They have had Grandma in their life since day one. When the divorce came around, rather that put my kids thru the terror of a huge custody fight, considering I had no lawyer, I gave up having the girls with me 80% of the time. Because I knew him, and when he was ready to stop playing "daddy" that the girls would be taken care of by his mom. Considering I still can't afford to modify the custody agreement now...and realllllllly couldn't then, it isn't my option of choice for them to not be with me, but it is the best alternative. His mother, her whole life is those 2 girls. Their granddad passed when Kayla was just a year old, and her son, well, isn't really around. So, they are all she has left to hold on to.
I am not by any means trying to shift my parental responisibilities off on someone else, but I am sharing with her the only joy brought out of my relationship with her son, our beautiful daughters. And I take every oppurtunity I can to parent my kids on a daily basis. Whether it be over the phone or when we are together, what ever the situation, when they are adults they will know that I was the one that actually took the time to be a PARENT, not a genetic contributor. And that I loved them enough to not drag them into a situation where at the time, I couldn't have physically, emotionally or financially taken care of them and that they had a guardian angel grandmother who was willing to take care of them.
I, unlike alot of "noncostodial" parents, do pay my child support. I do make special trips to see my girls, I attend all of their school functions, I help them with their homework. I do my best to teach them right from wrong. I spend quality time with them, how much time I get to spend with them is not as important as what we do with our time together.
If some people think this makes a horrible person then go ahead and think it. Because you really have no clue what I am about.
The people who actually spend real time around me know what kind of a person I really am. That is what matters. Those people whether they be blood kin or not are my family. Because we treat each other as such. I feel rather special that I have such a huge "family". These folks know who they are. To those people I send out a huge thank you for inviting me into your lives and accepting me as well as my kids.
I am closing for now, didn't know this was what it would turn to be, but, if I typed it, it must have needed typing.
23 January 2009
19 January 2009
The Last Few Weeks
Hmm..where do I start?
Ok. Since my last post in November, (ok, back track, make a long story short) My downstairs neighbors for the past 2 years, have become very important to me. They are like family, a surrogate mother and father, sister and her brother, and her kids.
At the end of October, Mike got very sick. He ended up going to the hospital the first of November by ambulance, and didn't make it home. He was in ICU for all but one day of his stay, and then on Nov. 30, he went home to be with the Lord. I didn't get the chance to know him like many people had known him for years, but he was still important to me. That month, Amanda and I, and Lee, Bud, Debie and alot of other folks took turns taking Barbara to the hospital to see him. Watching them all go thru the process of this has not been easy.
Amanda being in college had to miss alot of school, not just because of Mike being in hospital, but because she is a single mom of 2 kids, and having 2 kids and going to school is hard, when they get sick, or Barbara gets sick she picks up the slack.
Ok, well I'm gonna have to close it for now, I am about to leave work, and then I will pick it up once again when I get home. There is alot more.
Heh..so I lied, I didn't get back to it Monday, its almost 24 hours later and I am just now getting back to this, and again, almost time to leave work and go home. But lets see how far I can get.
Anyway, Mike had been sick for a while, which was unusual according to family, and also, like most men didn't like to go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary. Eventually he ended up in the Emergency clinic, getting antibiotics. A couple of days later, Barbara had gone down to Amanda's to visit, as she was having a lil get together for her impending birthday, and when she came home, she said that Mike was having trouble focusing and bobbing his head so, she wasn't sure if he was having a stroke or a seizure so she called 911 and tried to call Amanda but she couldn't hear her phone for all the ppl and music going in her apartment. My plan was to actually be there with Amanda, but I was completely worn from having helped my friend Kat move all her stuff out of the moving truck that day, so, I decided to stay home. Barbara called me and I was on my way out of the door before she could finish telling me to go get Amanda.
So I basically hauled ass across the complex, ran into her apt, grabbed her and told her to come with me something was wrong with Mike, so, we flew back around to the other side of the complex, the ambulance and fire dept were already there. Amanda was out of my truck and running to the door before I had the truck completely stopped and in park. Then ensued weeks of daily hospital visits, and just a couple of days before he passed he had a massive stroke that left him with no chance of life the way it was before. They moved him to hospice the next day, and the following day I spent the day there with Barbara, Amanda, Jeremy, Quentin, Amanda Kay and all the kids, when they had to explain to the kids why they were there.
Oh my gosh, I know it had to have been hard for Amanda to approach the subject with them, and the outpouring of emotion from the kids afterwards like to have sent me for a loop. I can't imagine having to do the same with all of mine and my brothers kids if either of my parents were to pass away.
I did get to go into his room and see him that day. I was there when they decided to go ahead and turn off the life support, was a very sobering thing for me. I personally have never been that close to a person when it was their time. There were many ppl in the room, alot of family and friends. Mike seemed like he was sleeping for quite some time, he never did regain consciousness, but he held on until the next morning.
Since then life has been a roller coaster for Barbara, she seems to be handling things ok, and then she has what she calls, "crying jags"....and she can't stand that she does. But we have to keep reminding her that it is all a part of the grieving process, and if she needs to cry, to go ahead and cry. She always apologizes, and I tell her it doesn't bother me when she does. It does on one hand because it hurts me to know that she is in pain, but on the hand I know she needs to get it out. I wish I knew what to say or do for her to make it all better, but, I don't. She has had 2 trips to the hospital herself, one for pnuemonia, and one for pulmonary issues. Scares me to see her go, but I am so happy when she makes it back. My mom knows that Barbara is like a 2nd mom to me. She doesn't mind it tho, she is just glad that I have someone closer to me that I can go to, yanno?
Amanda.....she doesn't realize how strong she is. I know that she hasn't had time to actually grieve the way she will at some point. She has her moments. She'll drag me to another room because she doesn't want her mom or others to see her cry or be emotional...She is trying to raise 2 kids, pretty much alone, go to school to better herself, and make a better world for her kids. I applaud her for that, I haven't made it quite that far in my education. At least she is working towards a goal. She has alot on her plate..and if it were me in her shoes I would have already caved under the pressure. She has no idea how proud she makes me.
Ok, again, I gotta go home, HOPEFULLY, I will be able to continue this tonight, and not tomorrow....this is gonna turn out to be a huge MONSTER!!
Fast forward a little over a week to my oldest daughter's 11th birthday party. We threw together a quick planned "party". Shirley and I picked up 6 little girlfriends of hers, and then came to town, picked up Amanda's son and went to the movies and watched Madagascar 2. Was cute and I was fairly surprised that 11 of us could make it thru the movie with no huge incident. Then back to my house for a lil cake, ice cream, pizza rolls and lil' smokies, and to watch KK open her presents.
Debie and Barbara used to make cakes for fun, and so a few days before the party I had approached Barbara to ask if she could help me make a cake...she said sure. So, she talked to Debie, and she got excited about making the cake...I ended up having not to do any of it. God love Debie she is a very good soul! Kayla wanted a Miley Cyrus cake...if she couldn't have that she wanted Hannah Montana. Debie searched all over to find Miley and she did!! She made a white cake (per Kayla's request) with buttercream icing (per mine) and she sprayed the top of the cake like a beach sand color and found a Miley doll and candle, sand bucket and bought the beach shop that is in the Hannah Montana show as a back drop to the cake....it was absolutely awesome!! Kayla loved it.
I had asked KK what she wanted for her bday...and she said a type writer, a camcorder or a scrapbook kit. Well yanno, no one carries type writers anymore, didn't think she was ready for a camcorder so I got her a scrapbook kit. And she absolutely loves that too...I haven't had to do much with her on that, she has taken off and done it by herself, she has only asked a couple of questions and asked me for a some pictures. She also got a High School Musical game, Hannah Montana tobagen and gloves, teddy bear, a piggy bank that Mimi had decorated for her, and lets not forget $36 in cash...she doesn't ask for much and she always is happy with what she gets...she is such a big hearted lil girl. She sure is getting moody lately tho. LoL
There was a Christmas get together at Barbara's the Saturday before Christmas, was a pretty big showing....lotsa good food and good company, and present trading. We all had a good time. Then at home for Christmas, this year I decided to make fleece blankets for greg and the kids, I spent a lil bit of time picking out patterns of fleece, and thanks to Carmie who pretty much cut and tied almost 3 of them 4 for me, they all got done...she is such a peach!!! All the kiddo's got new pajama's and a "toy" a piece...thats all we had money for really...ha..really didn't have it for that....but thanks to a "gaurdian angel" it was made possible. Mimi and Grandpa gave each of the kiddo's $25 a piece to get what they wanted from them. Which I gaurantee that they had a blast spending (most of a whole day in Walmart deciding what to spend it on).
We did have a family Christmas at Ed's house. It was pretty much just me and Greg and my girls, Ed, Brad, Ava and Dad. Grandma and the aunts and uncles were in and out during the day. Ed made the ham in the new roaster he got at the company Christmas party, I made mac and cheese and dump cake, he handled the vegetables and made the deviled eggs...He makes awesome deviled eggs. Oh, and don't forget the brown and serves....which I caught hell for over Thanksgiving...I'm not even going to go there...LoL We visited all day while cooking...Then opened presents and watched a movie. We were all worn out and ready for bed afterwards. I had to take the girls back to Shirley so they could go have another gathering with her side of the family, and then after the movie, Greg, I and Ed played some dominoes..Ed had to take the other dish he has simmering in the crock pot up to the nursing home where he works. So, I took him, and Greg made his way home. I brought Ed back home and then I went home myself.
New Year's Eve....hmm..well..Amanda was planning a lil party, so, we planned on going to that. Ed decided he wanted to come to, so I went and picked him up after I got off of work at 5 that day...got home, went and yakked with Barbara for a few, and then Greg wanted to make sure the kiddos were fed before going...Ed and I went on ahead..before long we had all had a few Mai Tai's the size of Dixie swish cups, a few butter shots etc. We had some ham and other things that Amanda had fixed....then with about 20 ppl in the house, and only one bathroom, someone was bound to have to run to the bathroom somewhere else...well....that woulda been me...thank god I live close by.
Anyway, Ed came back to the house with me. Greg was just walking out the door on his way, he was trying to talk to me...and I'm like, "Sorry....no time....GOTTA GO!" Made it to the bathroom, and Greg and Ed wait on me....came out...sat down in the kitchen for a min and the next thing you know, Greg says I am pale as a ghost....and passed out...he shook me and I came around, then he said I was flushed..and I passed out again. He called Amanda and told her that I was being put to bed. I think he was worried someone spiked my drink....I'm thinking the sugar in the drinks screwed with my blood pressure...either way, I was out cold by 830...such a party pooper.
Ed was going to spend the night, but after my lil whatever you wanna call it, he called Brad, and Brad was coming to pick him up after he got off work. Ed went back down to Amanda's and had a good time until he had to make it back for Brad to get him. I am glad he did....just sorry that I crapped out on him. Wasn't intending to...BUT....
Mmmmk....its almost 10 on Tuesday night.....still not done...still have about 3 weeks to account for...But considering this is almost 2 mos late....I don't guess its so bad....LoL. Will try to blog more tomorrow sometime.
Not sure that I have much farther to go on this. Alot of things tend to escape my mind these days. LoL
The first couple weeks of January were pretty uneventful. Or, forgettable....I'm not quite sure which one fits better.
Kayla has been feeling kinda puny off and on for the last few weeks. Not quite sure if she is about to "become a woman" or not...its about that time tho. Ugh...I dun even wanna think about that....I almost lost it when both of them started getting boobs. I'm not ready for that next step yet....Lord, please not yet! She has always had some health issue or another, whether it be allergies, pneumonia, the good ol' viruses that go around...sinus infections, ear infections, she has her 3rd set of ear tubes now. Earlier last year, she was having alot of tummy aches and her doctor put her on Prevacid I guess because he believes she has acid reflux. About a week ago, he told us that she has been sick too much in the last year and knows that she is tired and run down alot, so he wants her to be tested for sleep apnea....
Well, doesn't that sound familiar? I was recently diagnosed with it myself. He said there wasn't anyone that would test a child for it in Tyler so he was going to send us to Children's Hospital in Dallas. When she went back in a couple of days ago, they made a few calls and did find someone here in Tyler that will do it. So she will have her sleep test done on February 13th. Thanks goodness its on a weekend is all I am saying.
This last weekend the girls were with me. Friday evening we went to a birthday party for my friend Kimmie's little girl Brooklyn at Pump it Up. My girls had no clue we were going, where we were going or what they were going to be doing. Pump it Up is basically a party place, where there are bouncy houses and an obstacle course, one with a HUGE slide...then after about an hour and a half of play, we all got to go into the party room for cake and ice cream and watch her open her presents. My girls had a BLAST....we had never been there before...and I am glad they had such a good time.
Saturday, the girls actually fed themselves cereal and let me sleep in until 10....was nice...but I still don't like the idea of them being up and me not. After getting up I started straightening the house and trying to figure out what I wanted to fix for lunch..I decided on chili...I hadn't really ever made it before, so I figured I would give it a go...It turned out very well. We called Shirley at worked and asked her if she would like for us to bring her some, and we stopped by DQ and got some Blizzards to go and eat with her. After leaving there we went to Amanda's and visited for a little while. She let us borrow her Journey to the Center of the Earth DVD and her 3D glasses, then we went home to relax.
Before we started the movie Sierra started complaining about her tummy hurting. So I told her to relax got her some Pepto and we would all watch the movie together. We were all still pretty full from the chili so, we just started the movie. Kayla asked a while into it if she could have another bowl of it, so I told her yes. She was sitting in the livingroom on a towel with it, and Sierra started whimpering that the smell of the chili was making her tummy sick...I got her some water and told her to try and relax. She drifted off to sleep, so KK and I finished the movie. I decided to leave her on the couch because she was already asleep. KK went and got in bed, and I headed that way myself.
I climbed in bed, got comfortable and had just about made it to LaLa land when something woke me, I don't know if it was an actual noise or just Mommy radar, but I shot out of bed to check on her. Turned on the light and she sat straight up and puked all over the couch, the blankets, and herself. Poor baby...I felt so bad for her...I got her up...and walked her to the bathroom, let her finish whatever she needed to, got the water going in the shower and got her in it. While she was in there, I went ahead with the task of cleaning up the aftermath......I am very surprised that I got thru that with out adding to it. WHOA! I had to strip the cushion covers off, I had to scrub down the whole couch...out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the blanket that was on the back of one of the recliners had been initiated so that had to go in the washer too.. So...3 blankets, 3 cushion covers, 3 towels, her clothes, my clothes, the bath mat in my bathroom, 4 wash rags had to be washed. After scrubbing the couch I also treating it with stain treater, scrubbed it again, then I sprayed it down with Lysol, along with most of the rest of the apartment.
I am so glad I didn't insist on putting her in the bedroom..she would have been on the top bunk, and she would have ralphed all over it, herself and Kayla probably. I am also glad that Kayla or Greg or both of them didn't wake up and try to come see what was happening because I know for a fact that both of them would have puked on the spot, and then I would have followed suit most likely. Then we would have just had to move out in the middle of the night, cuz I wouldnt have been able to clean it all up. LoL
By the time that Sierra got out of the shower, I got her some new night clothes to wear, got her hair as dry as possible, I went about pulled out the mattress out from under the bottom bunk and got her laid down, made sure she drifted off. Then I finally took myself back to bed....at 1230 am.....Gah...I was so tired.
The next day wasn't so bad..Except for the fact that I got up at 6am with my alarm like I do when I go to work....couldn't go back to sleep. I got up and made eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast. She was able to keep that down. We all decided we wanted some pasta salad for lunch, so she ate a bit of that and came to me and told me that she didn't think she could eat anymore because her tummy was starting to feel weird again, so I got her another dose of pepto and got her another bottle of water. She seemed to do ok for the rest of them day. Grandma came and picked them up about 4ish..
Lately I have noticed Kayla start expressing her feelings about her Dad not calling or picking up the phone when they call him, and him making promises to do things and not going thru with them. She'll tell me, "I am so mad at Dad! He doesn't ever call or come see us when he says he will!" I guess he was supposed to meet his mom when she got off of work on Saturday, and they were going to take the girls to eat at DQ. He didn't show up...big surprise to me, let me tell ya. So when Shirley got to the apt to pick the girls up, Kayla asked if she could call him, so I let her. Of course he doesn't answer. And she started bawling...I know she was hurt, and I know she was mad and its all I could do to not want to curse his name for making her feel like that....and all I could say was "Baby, I am so sorry, I don't know what to say, except I love you and every thing will be ok".
The next day I got a call from Sierra...and she started crying...she said that Kayla called him and he said hello, and then he hung up. It was Sierra's turn to be upset. She knows that promises are important. She told me about that, and she said "Momma, but he promised! He said hello, then hung up and never called back! I miss him so much Momma!"
Ya wanna talk about yank a mothers heart right out of her chest??? Oh ya...that did. She is only 9. KK is 11. KK is starting to understand that her Dad isn't trustworthy and I know that hurts her...I can see it in her eyes. That kills me. But my baby. She just doesn't grasp it all yet. Ugh! How can he do that to my babies? Ok, I'm gonna quit on that subject before I get completely fired up.
I would rather try to end this blog on a better note that the last couple. I already went thru some of the things that happened in the last 2, so I am not going to revisit those. There is no need.
I believe.....that I am caught up for now. But probably not for long.
Oh!! I have quite a few pics to post....some of them are already uploaded from my mem card....there are quite a few that are not. I will probably just make a blog of nothing but pics....cuz...yanno...this one is SOOOO full of words.. LoL
Ok. Since my last post in November, (ok, back track, make a long story short) My downstairs neighbors for the past 2 years, have become very important to me. They are like family, a surrogate mother and father, sister and her brother, and her kids.
At the end of October, Mike got very sick. He ended up going to the hospital the first of November by ambulance, and didn't make it home. He was in ICU for all but one day of his stay, and then on Nov. 30, he went home to be with the Lord. I didn't get the chance to know him like many people had known him for years, but he was still important to me. That month, Amanda and I, and Lee, Bud, Debie and alot of other folks took turns taking Barbara to the hospital to see him. Watching them all go thru the process of this has not been easy.
Amanda being in college had to miss alot of school, not just because of Mike being in hospital, but because she is a single mom of 2 kids, and having 2 kids and going to school is hard, when they get sick, or Barbara gets sick she picks up the slack.
Ok, well I'm gonna have to close it for now, I am about to leave work, and then I will pick it up once again when I get home. There is alot more.
Heh..so I lied, I didn't get back to it Monday, its almost 24 hours later and I am just now getting back to this, and again, almost time to leave work and go home. But lets see how far I can get.
Anyway, Mike had been sick for a while, which was unusual according to family, and also, like most men didn't like to go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary. Eventually he ended up in the Emergency clinic, getting antibiotics. A couple of days later, Barbara had gone down to Amanda's to visit, as she was having a lil get together for her impending birthday, and when she came home, she said that Mike was having trouble focusing and bobbing his head so, she wasn't sure if he was having a stroke or a seizure so she called 911 and tried to call Amanda but she couldn't hear her phone for all the ppl and music going in her apartment. My plan was to actually be there with Amanda, but I was completely worn from having helped my friend Kat move all her stuff out of the moving truck that day, so, I decided to stay home. Barbara called me and I was on my way out of the door before she could finish telling me to go get Amanda.
So I basically hauled ass across the complex, ran into her apt, grabbed her and told her to come with me something was wrong with Mike, so, we flew back around to the other side of the complex, the ambulance and fire dept were already there. Amanda was out of my truck and running to the door before I had the truck completely stopped and in park. Then ensued weeks of daily hospital visits, and just a couple of days before he passed he had a massive stroke that left him with no chance of life the way it was before. They moved him to hospice the next day, and the following day I spent the day there with Barbara, Amanda, Jeremy, Quentin, Amanda Kay and all the kids, when they had to explain to the kids why they were there.
Oh my gosh, I know it had to have been hard for Amanda to approach the subject with them, and the outpouring of emotion from the kids afterwards like to have sent me for a loop. I can't imagine having to do the same with all of mine and my brothers kids if either of my parents were to pass away.
I did get to go into his room and see him that day. I was there when they decided to go ahead and turn off the life support, was a very sobering thing for me. I personally have never been that close to a person when it was their time. There were many ppl in the room, alot of family and friends. Mike seemed like he was sleeping for quite some time, he never did regain consciousness, but he held on until the next morning.
Since then life has been a roller coaster for Barbara, she seems to be handling things ok, and then she has what she calls, "crying jags"....and she can't stand that she does. But we have to keep reminding her that it is all a part of the grieving process, and if she needs to cry, to go ahead and cry. She always apologizes, and I tell her it doesn't bother me when she does. It does on one hand because it hurts me to know that she is in pain, but on the hand I know she needs to get it out. I wish I knew what to say or do for her to make it all better, but, I don't. She has had 2 trips to the hospital herself, one for pnuemonia, and one for pulmonary issues. Scares me to see her go, but I am so happy when she makes it back. My mom knows that Barbara is like a 2nd mom to me. She doesn't mind it tho, she is just glad that I have someone closer to me that I can go to, yanno?
Amanda.....she doesn't realize how strong she is. I know that she hasn't had time to actually grieve the way she will at some point. She has her moments. She'll drag me to another room because she doesn't want her mom or others to see her cry or be emotional...She is trying to raise 2 kids, pretty much alone, go to school to better herself, and make a better world for her kids. I applaud her for that, I haven't made it quite that far in my education. At least she is working towards a goal. She has alot on her plate..and if it were me in her shoes I would have already caved under the pressure. She has no idea how proud she makes me.
Ok, again, I gotta go home, HOPEFULLY, I will be able to continue this tonight, and not tomorrow....this is gonna turn out to be a huge MONSTER!!
Fast forward a little over a week to my oldest daughter's 11th birthday party. We threw together a quick planned "party". Shirley and I picked up 6 little girlfriends of hers, and then came to town, picked up Amanda's son and went to the movies and watched Madagascar 2. Was cute and I was fairly surprised that 11 of us could make it thru the movie with no huge incident. Then back to my house for a lil cake, ice cream, pizza rolls and lil' smokies, and to watch KK open her presents.
Debie and Barbara used to make cakes for fun, and so a few days before the party I had approached Barbara to ask if she could help me make a cake...she said sure. So, she talked to Debie, and she got excited about making the cake...I ended up having not to do any of it. God love Debie she is a very good soul! Kayla wanted a Miley Cyrus cake...if she couldn't have that she wanted Hannah Montana. Debie searched all over to find Miley and she did!! She made a white cake (per Kayla's request) with buttercream icing (per mine) and she sprayed the top of the cake like a beach sand color and found a Miley doll and candle, sand bucket and bought the beach shop that is in the Hannah Montana show as a back drop to the cake....it was absolutely awesome!! Kayla loved it.
I had asked KK what she wanted for her bday...and she said a type writer, a camcorder or a scrapbook kit. Well yanno, no one carries type writers anymore, didn't think she was ready for a camcorder so I got her a scrapbook kit. And she absolutely loves that too...I haven't had to do much with her on that, she has taken off and done it by herself, she has only asked a couple of questions and asked me for a some pictures. She also got a High School Musical game, Hannah Montana tobagen and gloves, teddy bear, a piggy bank that Mimi had decorated for her, and lets not forget $36 in cash...she doesn't ask for much and she always is happy with what she gets...she is such a big hearted lil girl. She sure is getting moody lately tho. LoL
There was a Christmas get together at Barbara's the Saturday before Christmas, was a pretty big showing....lotsa good food and good company, and present trading. We all had a good time. Then at home for Christmas, this year I decided to make fleece blankets for greg and the kids, I spent a lil bit of time picking out patterns of fleece, and thanks to Carmie who pretty much cut and tied almost 3 of them 4 for me, they all got done...she is such a peach!!! All the kiddo's got new pajama's and a "toy" a piece...thats all we had money for really...ha..really didn't have it for that....but thanks to a "gaurdian angel" it was made possible. Mimi and Grandpa gave each of the kiddo's $25 a piece to get what they wanted from them. Which I gaurantee that they had a blast spending (most of a whole day in Walmart deciding what to spend it on).
We did have a family Christmas at Ed's house. It was pretty much just me and Greg and my girls, Ed, Brad, Ava and Dad. Grandma and the aunts and uncles were in and out during the day. Ed made the ham in the new roaster he got at the company Christmas party, I made mac and cheese and dump cake, he handled the vegetables and made the deviled eggs...He makes awesome deviled eggs. Oh, and don't forget the brown and serves....which I caught hell for over Thanksgiving...I'm not even going to go there...LoL We visited all day while cooking...Then opened presents and watched a movie. We were all worn out and ready for bed afterwards. I had to take the girls back to Shirley so they could go have another gathering with her side of the family, and then after the movie, Greg, I and Ed played some dominoes..Ed had to take the other dish he has simmering in the crock pot up to the nursing home where he works. So, I took him, and Greg made his way home. I brought Ed back home and then I went home myself.
New Year's Eve....hmm..well..Amanda was planning a lil party, so, we planned on going to that. Ed decided he wanted to come to, so I went and picked him up after I got off of work at 5 that day...got home, went and yakked with Barbara for a few, and then Greg wanted to make sure the kiddos were fed before going...Ed and I went on ahead..before long we had all had a few Mai Tai's the size of Dixie swish cups, a few butter shots etc. We had some ham and other things that Amanda had fixed....then with about 20 ppl in the house, and only one bathroom, someone was bound to have to run to the bathroom somewhere else...well....that woulda been me...thank god I live close by.
Anyway, Ed came back to the house with me. Greg was just walking out the door on his way, he was trying to talk to me...and I'm like, "Sorry....no time....GOTTA GO!" Made it to the bathroom, and Greg and Ed wait on me....came out...sat down in the kitchen for a min and the next thing you know, Greg says I am pale as a ghost....and passed out...he shook me and I came around, then he said I was flushed..and I passed out again. He called Amanda and told her that I was being put to bed. I think he was worried someone spiked my drink....I'm thinking the sugar in the drinks screwed with my blood pressure...either way, I was out cold by 830...such a party pooper.
Ed was going to spend the night, but after my lil whatever you wanna call it, he called Brad, and Brad was coming to pick him up after he got off work. Ed went back down to Amanda's and had a good time until he had to make it back for Brad to get him. I am glad he did....just sorry that I crapped out on him. Wasn't intending to...BUT....
Mmmmk....its almost 10 on Tuesday night.....still not done...still have about 3 weeks to account for...But considering this is almost 2 mos late....I don't guess its so bad....LoL. Will try to blog more tomorrow sometime.
Not sure that I have much farther to go on this. Alot of things tend to escape my mind these days. LoL
The first couple weeks of January were pretty uneventful. Or, forgettable....I'm not quite sure which one fits better.
Kayla has been feeling kinda puny off and on for the last few weeks. Not quite sure if she is about to "become a woman" or not...its about that time tho. Ugh...I dun even wanna think about that....I almost lost it when both of them started getting boobs. I'm not ready for that next step yet....Lord, please not yet! She has always had some health issue or another, whether it be allergies, pneumonia, the good ol' viruses that go around...sinus infections, ear infections, she has her 3rd set of ear tubes now. Earlier last year, she was having alot of tummy aches and her doctor put her on Prevacid I guess because he believes she has acid reflux. About a week ago, he told us that she has been sick too much in the last year and knows that she is tired and run down alot, so he wants her to be tested for sleep apnea....
Well, doesn't that sound familiar? I was recently diagnosed with it myself. He said there wasn't anyone that would test a child for it in Tyler so he was going to send us to Children's Hospital in Dallas. When she went back in a couple of days ago, they made a few calls and did find someone here in Tyler that will do it. So she will have her sleep test done on February 13th. Thanks goodness its on a weekend is all I am saying.
This last weekend the girls were with me. Friday evening we went to a birthday party for my friend Kimmie's little girl Brooklyn at Pump it Up. My girls had no clue we were going, where we were going or what they were going to be doing. Pump it Up is basically a party place, where there are bouncy houses and an obstacle course, one with a HUGE slide...then after about an hour and a half of play, we all got to go into the party room for cake and ice cream and watch her open her presents. My girls had a BLAST....we had never been there before...and I am glad they had such a good time.
Saturday, the girls actually fed themselves cereal and let me sleep in until 10....was nice...but I still don't like the idea of them being up and me not. After getting up I started straightening the house and trying to figure out what I wanted to fix for lunch..I decided on chili...I hadn't really ever made it before, so I figured I would give it a go...It turned out very well. We called Shirley at worked and asked her if she would like for us to bring her some, and we stopped by DQ and got some Blizzards to go and eat with her. After leaving there we went to Amanda's and visited for a little while. She let us borrow her Journey to the Center of the Earth DVD and her 3D glasses, then we went home to relax.
Before we started the movie Sierra started complaining about her tummy hurting. So I told her to relax got her some Pepto and we would all watch the movie together. We were all still pretty full from the chili so, we just started the movie. Kayla asked a while into it if she could have another bowl of it, so I told her yes. She was sitting in the livingroom on a towel with it, and Sierra started whimpering that the smell of the chili was making her tummy sick...I got her some water and told her to try and relax. She drifted off to sleep, so KK and I finished the movie. I decided to leave her on the couch because she was already asleep. KK went and got in bed, and I headed that way myself.
I climbed in bed, got comfortable and had just about made it to LaLa land when something woke me, I don't know if it was an actual noise or just Mommy radar, but I shot out of bed to check on her. Turned on the light and she sat straight up and puked all over the couch, the blankets, and herself. Poor baby...I felt so bad for her...I got her up...and walked her to the bathroom, let her finish whatever she needed to, got the water going in the shower and got her in it. While she was in there, I went ahead with the task of cleaning up the aftermath......I am very surprised that I got thru that with out adding to it. WHOA! I had to strip the cushion covers off, I had to scrub down the whole couch...out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the blanket that was on the back of one of the recliners had been initiated so that had to go in the washer too.. So...3 blankets, 3 cushion covers, 3 towels, her clothes, my clothes, the bath mat in my bathroom, 4 wash rags had to be washed. After scrubbing the couch I also treating it with stain treater, scrubbed it again, then I sprayed it down with Lysol, along with most of the rest of the apartment.
I am so glad I didn't insist on putting her in the bedroom..she would have been on the top bunk, and she would have ralphed all over it, herself and Kayla probably. I am also glad that Kayla or Greg or both of them didn't wake up and try to come see what was happening because I know for a fact that both of them would have puked on the spot, and then I would have followed suit most likely. Then we would have just had to move out in the middle of the night, cuz I wouldnt have been able to clean it all up. LoL
By the time that Sierra got out of the shower, I got her some new night clothes to wear, got her hair as dry as possible, I went about pulled out the mattress out from under the bottom bunk and got her laid down, made sure she drifted off. Then I finally took myself back to bed....at 1230 am.....Gah...I was so tired.
The next day wasn't so bad..Except for the fact that I got up at 6am with my alarm like I do when I go to work....couldn't go back to sleep. I got up and made eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast. She was able to keep that down. We all decided we wanted some pasta salad for lunch, so she ate a bit of that and came to me and told me that she didn't think she could eat anymore because her tummy was starting to feel weird again, so I got her another dose of pepto and got her another bottle of water. She seemed to do ok for the rest of them day. Grandma came and picked them up about 4ish..
Lately I have noticed Kayla start expressing her feelings about her Dad not calling or picking up the phone when they call him, and him making promises to do things and not going thru with them. She'll tell me, "I am so mad at Dad! He doesn't ever call or come see us when he says he will!" I guess he was supposed to meet his mom when she got off of work on Saturday, and they were going to take the girls to eat at DQ. He didn't show up...big surprise to me, let me tell ya. So when Shirley got to the apt to pick the girls up, Kayla asked if she could call him, so I let her. Of course he doesn't answer. And she started bawling...I know she was hurt, and I know she was mad and its all I could do to not want to curse his name for making her feel like that....and all I could say was "Baby, I am so sorry, I don't know what to say, except I love you and every thing will be ok".
The next day I got a call from Sierra...and she started crying...she said that Kayla called him and he said hello, and then he hung up. It was Sierra's turn to be upset. She knows that promises are important. She told me about that, and she said "Momma, but he promised! He said hello, then hung up and never called back! I miss him so much Momma!"
Ya wanna talk about yank a mothers heart right out of her chest??? Oh ya...that did. She is only 9. KK is 11. KK is starting to understand that her Dad isn't trustworthy and I know that hurts her...I can see it in her eyes. That kills me. But my baby. She just doesn't grasp it all yet. Ugh! How can he do that to my babies? Ok, I'm gonna quit on that subject before I get completely fired up.
I would rather try to end this blog on a better note that the last couple. I already went thru some of the things that happened in the last 2, so I am not going to revisit those. There is no need.
I believe.....that I am caught up for now. But probably not for long.
Oh!! I have quite a few pics to post....some of them are already uploaded from my mem card....there are quite a few that are not. I will probably just make a blog of nothing but pics....cuz...yanno...this one is SOOOO full of words.. LoL
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