I Guess I'm in THAT Zone AGAIN!!!

Ya...just trying to figure things out.

Alieanation...

When you feel like you are used....and I am not talking about one person in particular.  UNFORTUNATELY...

I get excited when I hear about things being planned, and get happy for the people involved..whoever that may be in whatever situation it may happen to be..

I try to be there for any person whenever its possible.  I may not have alot of funds, I do have to work, and I do have other responsibilities.  But it really sucks when someone is taken for granted. 

I hate when people just ASSUME that I won't be available, or, that I won't have the money, or that it might be my weekend with the kids or better yet someone else may be around that may cause an issue...

Even if all that at any given point may be true......I would appreciate at least being asked.  Even if I have to tell you that I can't go because I cant afford it, or have to work or whatever..

It's nice to be thought of.

What REALLY ticks me off is something gets planned by a family member, that doesn't have anything to do with family per'se, and I don't even get told about it but I am supposed to just be ok with it when you go, and not say anything??  Then it happens twice and I am not supposed to say anything??  I think that is wrong in the wrongest form of wrong.  I am not about to name names and I don't want any phone calls from ANY of you...leave it to say if I have an issue with you, you would know it..

It unnerves me when I get calls from people that I call or text or go to see alot and then out of the blue they call or text or pop over unannouced, and it turns out that they need me to do something or give something to them...

Again, its nice to be thought of outside of what I can do for them or what I have that you want..

I'm just about ready to turn into myself again...not that I am going to be me, because me is apparently boring and not much worth being around.  But, uh....build my wall back up..cuz at some point I am going to need it. 

I am tired of trying to figure things out.  Things either are or they are not.  Seems like.

Until next time.